Parents often use control under the guise of unconditional love

How many of you think your parents loved you unconditionally?

Now, what if you did something that your parents did not approve of? Did their love towards you change?

I always thought that my parents loved me a lot and that is why they always wanted me to be around them. In my younger years this made sense, but when I began to want to do my own thing in my late 20s (yes, you read that right – my LATE 20s), is when I found out that this was their means of controlling me.

By keeping me close, they could keep an eye on everything I did. This included what I ate, the friends I kept, where I went, how much I spent, who I was texting, what I was watching – the list is inexhaustible. The more aware I became of this, the clearer it became that none of it was coming from love.

Parents will go as far as to say “we sacrificed our life to raise you”- this is a common statement they use to guilt you and make you feel that you owe them your life. In other words, “we invested in you” as if children are an investment scheme, so they are now to live under their policy rules. They expect you to be a martyr for their praise. And when you are not, you begin to see their true colors come to light.

Doing something which is against their will, their belief systems or way of life results in the projection of tremendous shame and guilt because it means the child does not love or care about the parents. Most children internalize this, dedicating their entire life to please their parents.

Men are also given the added responsibility of being the caretakers of their parents.

When a parent passes away is when one often realizes how much of their life they gave up. That they never actually lived for themselves. By then they don’t recognize who they’ve become as they have literally turned into a shell of themselves living a life for others.

You never get to be who you are meant to be.

Never finding out what YOU really like and dislike, not what your parents like or dislike.

Never finding out what gifts you have that you came to bring to this Earth for the short amount of time that you have here.

Do you still think your parents unconditionally loved you?