It is important to recognize the wounding your mother caused you

We grow up as a child with our mother; learning to walk, speak, play, eat, and the list can go on. We rely deeply on our parents in those early stages.

Our mothers (are supposed to) play a huge role in raising us. Then we become teenagers and start to lookout for our path which is why some parents call the teenage years the hardest. It is mostly because the children are starting to think for themselves and retaliating with their own parents who are not letting them be who they are or want to be. Then we become older, find our life partners, and try to live our lives according to our own values.

Sadly, it is very hard for a lot of mothers to let their sons go free. They want to try and control their sons even as adults, even if they are married and have children of their own.

Through my personal experience, I have seen this immense sense of control from my own mother. Even as an adult, my mother needed and wanted to control all aspects of my life. What I wear, eat, where I go, who my friends are, why I am not at home 24/7 by her side. Even if I had friends over at my house (which rarely happened because it was never a good experience) she needed to be right there as if they will tell me the secret of life and I will run away from her. All of this was under the false pretense of love. She just didn’t want me to be my own self but strictly a reflection of her.

I think that some mothers forget about their personal lives, their connection with themselves and their partners and look for that in their sons. Not an excuse. I always saw the writing on the wall, but my younger brother was always attached to my mothers hip. And I am talking about even in his late 20s. He did not have any friends of his own because he would never leave home without the parents. My parent’s friends were his friends. He would always go to dinners with friends of my parents because he was always with them.

Its sad that till this day even being married and having a child of his own, he has no clue about who he is because he has stayed buried under my mother’s shadow. That’s just what happens when a son succumbs to a mother’s control.

Through the Mother Wound healing program by Liana Shanti, I learned about the roles of a mother. I found out that one of the main roles of a mother is to initiate her children to be out there and be the best version of themselves.

Son’s who have been affected by such control can live their entire lives under the mother’s shadow and feel bewildered when the mother dies because suddenly they have no clue about themselves.

It is very important that we heal such wounds as soon as we recognize them because most of us have not been loved unconditionally and carry these wounds deep within us. That is the only way we can feel aligned with our true selves and live our perfect life for the short duration that we are on this earth.